I’ve been always swerving around hard corners; but he was always on the road with straight and unfeigned serenity. Who was he?
“I, Hasan, the son of Muhammad the weight-master, I, Jean-Leon de Medici, circumcised at the hand of a barber and baptized at the hand of a pope, I am now called the African, but I am not from Africa, nor Europe, nor from Arabia. I am also called the Granadan, the Fassi, the Zayyati, but I come from no country, from no city, no tribe. I am the son of the road, my country is the caravan, my life is the most unexpected of voyages.”
He was barely visible to my squinting eyes at times, yet, he had a legendary style of living.
Hasan knew how to find balance in his soup of titles. It was not a habit inherited from his father, a weight-master… Some unfortituous wanderings lasting forty years had sharpened his outlook coming to a halt in the harmonizing tranquility he found in “to live long peaceful days in the bosom of [his] family”. Living a life has changed its definition, after witnessing the passage of an introverted childhood on the streets of Fez followed by an adulthood in the cycles of respectful tradesman to the pursuit of love in the charming eyes of Hiba the first, Nur the Circassian, Maddalena the convert.
After Hasan, I came to be sure that it is not possible to end up in a pure stability without passing through the storms of life. Living a life should bring an anticipated stability. Chemically it is the rule: Whenever one side of the reaction is disturbed, reaction is adjusted to establish the equilibruim. Conscious beings are not exempt from this rule. I-the conscious- seek for the dynamic equilibrium of my mind. I guess a South American farmer and an Norwegian fisherman seek for that, too. No matter where in the universe, chaos is not desirable. I want the mellow sense of swimming in a clear lake during a shiny summer day, but not a white-knuckled mode of life . But, if I seek to push myself away from chaos, it means I somehow perceive chaos concomitant with a stability. So, what is chaos?
Chaos has two sides for me: its uncertainty and charm. Uncertainty is basicly in the definition of chaos, and, charm further comes from its evidently dynamic nature. Here comes a weird interpretation of Heisenberg’s Principle: One cannot observe this default uncertainty and this accessory charm of chaos at the same time. Uncertainty fills the unspoken, particular depths of human heart with a full dose of uneasiness, while charm in chaos does the same with a full dose of joy.
In the bowels of this charm lies a hidden passion for peculiarity. And, that is what I want to focus on here. Yes, we are passionate when things are irreplaceable. No one questions this, because the charm on the surface of evertyhing we are passionate about is its own bait. The charm in hustle and bustle of Turkish streets is enticing, and its lack in my hub is my woe.
Jumping back to the story, as oppossed to Hasan, I keep envisioning a future of endless storms. Storm as a symbol of dynamic essence of life. If atoms move, ‘storms of life’ are incessant. Good news is that ‘decay is inevitable’. Storms of mind and soul will soothe, but will not end. Storms of struggles will be replaced by smooth strollings of a spring wind on the cheek of the one who seeks that voyage of life.